I was in a sorta heated argument with a somebody last week and the whole wahala was "what's the definition of an intimate relationship". Now the person was/is of the opinion that an intimate relationship means a relationship in which the two people do a lot of physical touching etc and that, that's the only way a couple can bond, that's there no way a guy and girl can be in a relationship and they won't touch unless they are just friends.
My own opinion was "okay oh, hmmm...I've heard you, but the word 'intimate' is quite relative. Intimacy to me is not physical touching (it might include it oh, I dunno), but an emotional attachment of the couple to each other based on a bond developed as a result of friendship and a couple getting to know each other very well, inside out. The best relationships have a strong foundation of friendship and the good thing is that in these kind of relationships romance would definitely kick in at the appropriate God-given time in reasonable ways and end up full blown in marriage"..I now went on to state, (even though I have no statistics Oh) that "80% of the time, relationships founded on the basis of lust and physical intimacy, are doomed in marriage. As in, when all the physical touching/sexual activity is done and over done sef, what will glue the couple together when they don't have a foundation of friendship?" I feel everyone in a relationship should explore friendship with their partner first before any other thing. They should sha remember to flee from every appearance of evil.
After stating my opinion the person says that is my theory..
I rest my case.. Is this just my theory. Is it not like a major truth. Abi what I've just stated, doesn't it obtain in real life?
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In moving on to other issues, let me state first that I hate trends. Yep I do. Just because it is what's in does not mean it'll look good on everyone. People should learn to stop following and set their own trends (......oh, then someone copies and then another and the cycle continues...*sigh*...whatever. But it usually starts from copying celebs sha) This ballerina up-do thingy is becoming too common..I can't even count how many people in my class on a certain day have an up-do, when they decide not to make their hair. Funny, as much as I hate it because it is common, I still think it looks quite pretty sometimes and especially in the picture below;
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and in this one
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Oh and this too
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Gorgeous init?
Well, I don't see too much of gorgeous on the heads of people I have seen that spot this trend. I'm not exaggerating when I say I have seen an up-do like this:
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I'm seriously not exaggerating. Just can't get real pics because it will just be somehow (though I felt like snapping people's heads last week...:) ). I saw someone like this last week and I was like 'what??!!..the shape of head ehn....
The rule of thumb here is 'know the shape of your head and the LENGTH of your hair'. Just 'cause it fit Christina Milian, doesn't mean it will fit you too. Better still, fix in a weave so it looks full and much more pretty. Or just stay away from it!
Okay Oh... Now to a much more serious issue...
Have you ever felt like God is telling you to do something and you know it's good for you, but you're like 'Big guy', what's your own now. I'm really on the right path now'. It's really hard to succumb to God's will for us sometimes. The simplest way I see it is like a father telling a child to do his homework oh,' face your book oh', but the child is always grumpy and refuses to go his father's way and prefers to play suwe with his friends. What the child does not know is that, his father has great plans for his future and he knows that if he (the child) heeds his (the father's) word and does well consistently, one day he might get a scholarship to study at Harvard.
That's the way I see it, but sometimes it's so hard to yield to God's will even when you know he's infallible and he will never lead you along the wrong path.. I'm still learning everyday and it's not easy, but by God's grace I shall succeed,
This was nice. Feels good to be back here :)
Wish y'all a lovely holiday.
The point you've made about being friends with your partner before getting into an intimate relationship is a very valid point and from what I've been told the physical aspects of a relationship is far better when you start of as friends.
ReplyDeleteThose who don't believe so should give it a try before disagreeing.
Thanks for the follow :)
http://mydatingyear.blogspot.com
Yeah, I agree. The physical aspects should be far better when friendship is the solid foundation.
DeleteThey should....You're welcome.. Thanks for your comment....:)
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO@ur pix!!!!...gosh i was laughing in a way my mum had to ask me whats up....haba...re u serious!!!
ReplyDeletewhy do ppl like doing things to make dm feel like they belong ehn...why cant they just be creative and do what fits them and mks dm happy instd of doing t bcos odas re...like oda ppl's lives depends on theirs
dont mind d antagonist jare, intimacy is not based on touching ooo...forget that one and U were RIGHT,and pls stand to be corrected..if intimacy was based on touching, how come its diff with God. we cant touch him or hold him but u can have a deep intimacy
intimacy is based on knowing d individual inside out shikena..when kissing and caressing and co starts coming in, thats when other preambles like hands moving where they shouldnt comes in and then viola!!!..sex happens!!
sex clouds one's senses in the relationship and all those touch touchy will prevent one from getting to know the inside out of the person
nice write up babes...as usual, ure always on point
Lol...
DeleteYou're so on point yourself.. I particularly like
"if intimacy was based on touching, how come its diff with God. we cant touch him or hold him but u can have a deep intimacy".....You couldn't have said it better.
Thanks for stopping by.
My own opinion about achieving intimacy in relationship is getting to know each other personally. That may sounds so simple, but it achieves more emotional strength than the smooching thing. It really does. The touching-thing fades sooner.
ReplyDeleteAbout the hair-style part, you indeed had me laughing with the cartoon you created with the Paint application. Meh... That got the message across. Good job! And welcome back too.
www.josephomotayo.blogspot.com
www.criticalliterature.blogspot.com
It's glad to hear this coming from a guy's point of view.. 'Cause I usually think all guys are 'high on touching'...lol..Don't mind me.. I should learn not to generalize.
DeleteI'm glad it had you laughing oh.. I just hope people really get the message.
Thanks for stopping by...:)
I wanted to send you a mail, but I couldn't get your email address on the blog.
ReplyDeleteAre you on WhatsApp on your mobile? I have a group I just created on it. If you are on WhatsApp, tell me if you are favourably disposed to your coming on the group. This is my mail; jomotayo01@gmail.com. You can send your response there. Thank you, AY.
I think I should even put my email address on the blog sef.. Sorry about that. Yeah, I'm on WhatsApp..
DeleteI'll send you an e-mail as soon as I can...Please bear with me.
There's just too much on my mind.