The reason for the season

Since I was a baby, Christmas has always meant to me taking yearly trips to my hometown;
getting together with family, those I have not seen in a long while and those I see often.
It has always meant buying rams for the season, and the men of the family killing them on Christmas morning; we the children taking trays of raw meat to different family houses and the King's palace and getting small tokens in return.
Attending the village church for close to three hours, donating money to the church and dancing to the altar in thanksgiving as our family name is called.

When I was much younger it meant throwing knockouts and having mini-wars with kids from other houses;
listening to bootleg tapes/CDs of Christmas carols and Awilo Logomba's/ Olumide's makossa songs.
Listening to the old women speak the native language as they gossip and 'speak' to the chickens and tortoises they probably kept as pets. Now most of them are gone.

Christmas has always also meant lots of food; jollof rice, fried rice, pounded yam, pepper soup and lots of drinks.
Sometimes it has also meant getting constipated or having diarrhoea.
It has more recently meant throwing big parties at our family house and crashing other parties; receiving visitors and catching up on all the stuff that have happened since we were away from each other. Listening to our daddies and mummies gisting and trying to get to know our cousins better. And sometimes, dancing like there's no tomorrow.

source

For me, every year Christmas is always celebrated the same way. Christmas time is synonymous with traveling to the village and meeting family from far and near. It's a very important tradition worth continuing.

But recently I've been thinking how I've never really sat down and given much thought to the real reason for the celebration. And I find that's it's so very easy to get carried away with all the eating, drinking and dancing that we forget that it's the birth of Jesus Christ that we celebrate on Christmas day. I'll be keeping that in mind this season even as we celebrate and hope not to get carried away by everything. I think we should even celebrate Christmas everyday in our hearts. But I still love the idea of dedicating one day to the celebration.


I stumbled upon this amazing video!!! It just helps to further pass the message about the Real reason for the season. Please watch and be blessed!!!.. I still get this warm feeling in my heart every time I watch it.

Later guys..

Merry Christmas in advance..
And don't forget to 'Keep Christ in Christmas'

:D

Tribalism or what?

Hello guys!!

Hope you are all doing great and having a wonderful month. I wish you all a blessed and happy new month.

How time flies. It just seems like yesterday when we began the year 2012. 

I am really thankful to you all that read and commented on my last post. It is all very encouraging. You guys are part of the reason why I find the zeal to come back. I pray you all find complete happiness and fulfillment in all your endeavours. Amen.

I’ve been just here and there. Working part time and anticipating my graduation day. What to wear is somewhere at the back of my mind.. I’ve not gone back to driving. Not yet. Will get back to it sometime soon.

So, on to today’s post

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Recently, I was chatting with a guy and somehow our chat narrowed down to a discussion on relationships and what ‘tribes not to marry from’... Weird topic in my opinion.

Okay, so after the whole exchanging of pleasantries and all, this person let me know  that, ‘he can never allow me’ (I’ll choose myself, by the way)  marry a man from Remo, Ogun state. Of course I asked why now? 

Please, just ignore the typos

His reply was quite daunting at first and at that moment I couldn’t believe I was in the middle of such a chat. I expected much more from this person.. or am I mistaken?

The chat didn’t end there. He went on to let me know that Igbo people are worse and that also he cannot marry an Egba girl (another tribe in Ogun state), because “they mess around and kill their husband at the end so they inherit his properties” (in his own words).

At this point I was irritated and let him know I am of the opinion that a person’s tribe, or whatever stories and myths were attached to the tribe do not determine who the person really is or what they’ll do in the future. You can’t judge a person based on their tribe.

He sent me a picture of an Egba girl he once dated, a career woman who also attends his church. He said when he heard the story, he immediately broke up with her, although he loved her...Hmmmm.

At this point I don tire.

He then said, after that he dated an Edo girl, who he's no more with. I asked sarcastically “ So Edo girls are not bad”. He answered that “they are ‘bad’, but some parts like Ishan are good”.. My word.

He ended everything by saying he cannot marry from Ijebu-ode ‘lai lai’

I told him to kukuma not marry sef, especially as most of the tribes he had rejected are even from his State.

I was very disappointed in this person. Or maybe I’m over-reacting, but seriously I was oblivious to the fact that people actually consider these things. I don’t just believe it’s okay to judge anyone based on their tribe or whatever. Because, in fact there are many people all over from various tribes who have never been to their village and don’t know where it exists. And so just because, you have some story about their tribe doesn’t mean you’ll judge them based on that, because some people are just a product of the environment they have lived in mostly irrespective of where their family originates from. And good and bad people exist, but it all depends on the individual person!! And a life partner should be chosen on the basis of their character and other important qualities, not tribe!!.

This person thinks I’m too naive and that I need to grow up.

But seriously, I don’t see why I need to or why I need to change the way I think for that matter. Maybe, I’m too naive, or too westernized, or I don’t watch Africa Magic Yoruba movies enough, all I know is tribe doesn’t matter.

Abi, what do you guys think?

I didn’t want to blog about this at first, because I consider it really unnecessary to have a discussion on, but I just wanted to get other opinions,  as the matter don tire me..

Till next time. Take care and stay blessed....:)

Thankful.. :)

Hiya

Wow, I’ve been away for a little while. Blame it on laziness, majorly.

I’ve been just alright. This month stuff have happened that have made me realize how important it is to always be thankful to God.

Should I start from when I woke up one morning early in the month and could not empty my bladder or pass stool (I had been constipated for daysss). And how a catheter had to be inserted and my bowel evacuated manually by a nurse, as I screamed like a mad woman and then felt all that pain afterwards.

Eeew, I know...

Nowadays, I thank God for the gift of a functioning urinary system and gastrointestinal system. Little things like waking up in the morning and being able to use the bathroom, I’m thankful for.

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I thank God for how far He has brought me in life. Sometimes our mind is so clouded by the things we really want, things that our hearts are set on, that we fail to really see how much we are blessed by God.

When my final result was released at school, I wept like a baby. It wasn’t a bad result, at all. It was really good. But I wept, because I really aimed higher and was just so close to meeting my goal. But by the time, I saw how many people were battling with poor grades and the inevitable case of having to do a re-sit examination, I was thankful. I am not making fun of these people, I’m just grateful to God. It took me a while to really talk some sense into my head and look back into my past to see how much God has been there for me. And I’m confident He knows where I’m still going to and how far I would go.

Sometimes it so easy to blame God and be so ungrateful. I was so ashamed of myself for not being thankful, even with all He has done for me.

******************

I’ve completed driving school. The first day my dad decided I should take a car out, while he sat by my side, I bashed the car badly. It was a sort of accident. It happened so fast. I’m just thankful it wasn’t worse than that, because it could have been.

It was a really scary experience. I’ve been saying since, that I’m never going to try driving again in my life (in my mind sef I know I’m fibbing to myself...lol), but after the hustle for public transport that I experienced yesterday ehn, I’m having a re-think. I’ll just have to overcome my fears.

I’m really thankful to God for everything, including you guys that stop by to read and/or comment and my new followers.  

:)

Thanks for stopping by. 

Victory!!

This week I had my project defense.

The days preceding the actual day of the project defense, I was really scared. The thought of defense scared me. I called my friends in other departments who had already done theirs and asked all kinds of questions.

Some of their replies came as:

“summarize and rehearse”

“that defense thing is over hyped jare”

“just pray they don’t tackle you”.....etc

I was really scared oh. I dunno why. When it was time to buy a suit for the defense I made a fuss. The suits I saw were either too big or ugly. But I have to blame my skinny sef for not finding my size. Finally I chose and slim-fitted one MJ-looking outfit... lol. For me it was important I dressed sharp, because that’s part of what helps to build my confidence.

I followed the advice of some of my friends and ‘summarized and rehearsed’. With time the whole thing was stuck in my head.

The D-day finally came. Some people were carrying one yama yama rumour that I was going to be first to defend. I tried to fight back all the tension. 

It turned out I was third to defend. 

My name was called, I knocked the door leading to a sort of board room. Greeted the scary looking panel. The minute I saw my supervisor seated I wasn’t sure whether to be happy or to just fret. I sat down when asked to.

They made jokes, the panel. Probably all in an effort to calm me down and make me feel relaxed.

“Okay so tell us what you did”

I just started like a robot and rapped my way down to my concluding statement. When I finished they all let out a sigh and smiled (in what I took to be admiration). I started feeling good with myself.  

I was even more relaxed and happy when my supervisor chipped in at the appropriate times to say something in favour of me (when I had thought she was going to tackle me)

The external supervisor went through my work, checked my referencing etc. 

A few questions started pouring in. The ones I genuinely did not know I said, “I don’t know”. After all there’s no crime in that. But one of the lecturers there was so bent on making me feel bad. 

She let out a dramatic “AHHH!” and gasped in disbelief at the most inappropriate times. I was unperturbed.

I was asked a final question which I half answered. I had been brimming with so much confidence ever since. 

But I don’t know what happened. My eyes started to hurt. Tears were forming behind my eyes.

I thought to myself, “don’t fall my hand oh. You must not cry in front of this panel oh.. Why are you crying sef?”

I struggled to prevent the tears from trickling down my face. My eyes hurt. And suddenly a tear drop betrayed me and ran down my face. I was so angry with myself. At this point the external supervisor was giving me the correct answer to the question I half answered.

He stopped mid-sentence and looked to the other lecturers.

“Why is she crying?”

Chaii!! . Busted!

All of them looked at me. “ahn ahn, what happened.....”, “but you’ve done well so far.....”, “why are you crying...?”.....

The tears stupidly kept pouring down as I shook my head. My H.O.D gave me a handkerchief...smh.

The external supervisor made me know he had been impressed so far, but I had spoiled everything by shedding tears. So he was going to subtract from the already good scores he was going to give me. 

I fought back the remaining tears.

Some of the lecturers started going on about how I had lost confidence in myself and how bad it was that I cried. “Is that what you’ll do when you go for a job interview”. I shook my head.. Oh no!!

I was finally told to leave. I stepped out and found the nearest bathroom to wash my face before my other course mates would see me.

One thing I knew in my mind was that I cried, not because I lost confidence in myself, but because I’m just human. Maybe it was all the tension that built up from the weeks before, or tears of joy..lol (like a friend put it), or the fact that I couldn't give a complete answer to the last question I was asked, or the annoying sounds coming from the lecturer that kept gasping in disbelief. 

One of my friends also agreed with me that crying was not a sign of weakness.

Either way I’m glad it’s finally over

***********

Oh, and did I forget to mention?

The result was released yesterday and I made an A!!!

All glory be to God.

Thanks for checking out my blog... mwah!!

Myth, superstition or fact ......and so random

Hello everyone!!

There are some things I've heard or come across with time and I was wondering what to classify them as: Myth, superstition or fact;

1) Okro is bad for Ijebu men: Now I don't know if this covers all the different types of the Yoruba tribe oh, but I know that my grandmother who happens to be Ijebu, warned my mother never to prepare okro soup for my father when they got married. My mother obliged her. That now led to we the children never ever tasting okro until a long while. 

Afterall, as the Yoruba proverb goes: "Obe ti Baale ile ki je, Iya ile ki i se", "the soup the master of the house does not eat, the woman of the house does not prepare"

One day we managed to eat it at our aunty's house and we loved it and begged our mum to start preparing it and she did.

So recently I just found out from one of my friends, whose grand mum is also Ijebu, that her mother was also given the same instruction. And from what she told me, apparently these Ijebu women have a common belief that okro lowers a man's sperm count...Me I dunno know oh 

2) Eating in your sleep is dangerous: That's what my mum has always made me to believe since I was young and serious prayer always followed when I told her I ate in my sleep, but I just wonder what it really means. I've read some 'spiritual' books in the past on it, but I just wonder oh, because some times I find myself eating in my sleep *covers face*...

3) Killing wall geckos leads to bad fortune: I was in SS1. One of those nights during prep, a wall gecko dropped from the ceiling onto my notebook. Immediately I flung it away from the book and stepped on it with all my might. It divided into two parts; the tail and the rest of the body My classmates gasped and stared at me disbelievingly. "You just killed an omo onile...", "Ah, it is wrong...", "Bad things will happen to you..". I laughed. Like, they couldn't be serious. I went back to reading my book.

Last month I told someone the story and his reaction was the same and I was like duh!!

***

I can't believe some people still think Obama is the antichrist. I was listening to a discussion on Saturday and someone said Obama will never get the opportunity to be president a second time; that Americans will make sure, since he is the antichrist, so as to delay the evil things that are bound to happen to the world...Hmmm...I still dey wonder and Google has been my friend these past days. I've read all sorts on this topic ehn..

***

I started taking driving classes today and this my driving school teacher has specifically instructed me that I should bring money for 'minerals' each time I come for a lesson. I asked him if the 10K I payed to his 'Oga' does not include his own pay.. mscheew... But, I've been made to know by him (matter-of-factly) that if I don't bring 'minerals' money, then I'll be on my own because he won't teach me well.

"Igba, to ba funmi ni owo fun minerals ni ma sese ma ko e bo se ye", "it is when you give me money for 'minerals' that I will now teach you the way I'm supposed to" 

I just dey wonder. Since when did I need to give you money so that you will do what is right. After paying 10K for two weeks you expect me to give you 'change' everyday, 'change' you've probably been collecting from others. In my presence one person gave him N200 after her driving lesson.

Reminds me of one time when my project supervisor asked me to drop a copy of my thesis with someone in the departmental office and the man asked me to 'drop' something as 'security vote' (in his own words) so that the thesis won't get lost. It's apparent he wanted me to give him money (for no sensible reason). I played dumb and told him, "ehn if it gets lost, it gets lost. But I wonder how that will happen". And then I left the office.

Things need to change in this country ehn...

***

Thanks to all who commented on my last post. Thanks for the birthday wishes...

I'm out!!

19-10

Yay!!!
It‘s my birthday today and I‘m excited!!

Woke up really tired this morning, ‘cause I could hardly sleep from thinking so much about today. Been fantasizing about a surprise party, dancing on the beach, taking pictures in a garden and getting fabulous gifts like a Samsung galaxy note...*wink.

Well that‘s all fantasy. Today‘s been fab so far sha!

I‘m grateful to God for keeping me all these years and for how far I‘ve come in life..

***
Gotta go.... Lemme go and check on the food.. Hmm..yummy!!..lol.. You guys should join me..

Bye...see you soon... (dances alanta as she leaves the stage)

The curtain falls

Finding it hard to read and write

Hello!

So, of late, I’ve been finding it hard to read the books I love and to create stories of my own.  Right now, so many things overwhelm me and it’s like I’ve totally lost interest in anything possible. 

In the past I finished books quite readily: The Harry Potter Series, Chimamanda’s books, etc. However, now I find it hard to finish reading books. Starting is usually not a problem, but then when I read a bit, I stop and move on to another book. The only books I’ve managed to finish recently are “The Secret Lives of Baba Segi’s wives”, “Letter to my daughter” and some time ago, “I do not come to you by chance.” 

I don’t know what the problem is, but when I pick up a book it’s like I experience some kind of strange dumbing down and I can’t even enjoy or follow through with it. I suspect, it might be I do not find some of the books interesting, maybe, because for example, I bought Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani’s “I do not come to you by chance” after “The Help” and it’s been two years since I bought the latter book and I’ve still not finished it. But the former, I enjoyed a lot and read the first half in a very short time took a break of about three months and then finished it. But it’ll be wrong to classify the books that way, because while I find so much pleasure in reading the “Diary of Anne Frank”, I’m struggling to finish it. It’s just odd. It might be also, that some books require much more understanding and analyzing (I could say that for ‘The Help’), while others can be easily downed like a cold glass of water on a hot day. So, I really don’t know what my problem is.

(I don’t read a particular genre) Some of the books I pray one day I will be able to finish. There’s still more, but mentioning them might amount to sacrilege. Some people might be shocked and with a smug look on their face say “so you are still reading that book/just reading it/not finished it...etc. Don’t bother guessing...:)

Recently, I’ve even been thinking maybe this whole reading/writing thing is not for me, because I just can’t seem to put pen on paper and I find discussions on writing somehow boring. I envy people that talk about finishing books in a day/in days!!

But I don’t want to conclude too early that writing is not for me, because of that inner yearning I have to really write something. This is probably a phase I’m going through. And I think I’ve also allowed fear to cripple me in so many ways. I have a list of so many things I want to be/ do in my head that I get so caught up in trying to finish everything at once. In between editing my project thesis, I was trying to keep up with “The Diary of Anne Frank” and also enjoy “One day I will write about this place” (which is a good read, by the way). Then somewhere in my mind I was also thinking and worrying over how to be creative with stories and struggled to write bad stories in small jotters. I’m overwhelmed by it all and I’ve set so many targets for myself, I just can’t keep up: Finish reading 10 novels before the year runs out, write many short stories before the year runs out, purchase a new set of books (when I’ve not even finished the ones I have), finish writing a book before my next birthday, search for places to get my internship done and get prepared for interviews, prepare for project defense,  start deciding what school to go for a Masters degree (that’s how I plan, long-term), update my blog more frequently, plan a trip..and a host of other things!!  Humph, it all gets tiring, all the planning and goal setting and I’ve had enough of being so scared and wondering what will happen if I don’t meet these targets.

So, I’ve made a decision. I’m going to take it one step at a time. After all, there’s a time for everything. So, I’m sitting down and trying to draw up a scale of preference and put what’s most important to me now at the forefront of my mind.

It’s all in my head, but now I’ve to put that down in writing.

While I’m trying to find my feet, I’ve decided there’s one thing I must do, which I don’t think I can go wrong with.

Start writing in a journal.

Yes. I used to write in one. A drab looking exercise book, but I think it got stolen or lost or something back in secondary school, then a friend of mine got me a fancy looking journal for my birthday 4 years ago. I wrote in it, but couldn’t keep up. Life/school happened. 

Now, my inspiration to write in a journal is back. I remember stumbling on Tommie’s blog some time ago and I noticed she kept a journal, so I sorta made a mental note to get one and even wrote something like that in her comments section. But I didn’t follow up on that at the time. Most recently, my inspiration really comes from reading the ‘The Diary of Anne Frank’ and I’m thinking, “Gosh, I wish I kept a steady journal from when I was twelve years old, just like Anne”. She reminds me of myself a lot. I’m reading her diary and I’m realizing the importance of memories and the sort of therapeutic effect writing in a journal has. And I want it to work for me, so I’m getting myself a journal. My birthday is coming up very very soon and it will be my present to me.... J And I just pray it helps- writing down my thoughts, truthfully, to only one person and at regular intervals. Who knows, one day it might become a best seller. Imagine, “The diary of ay”! lol.. Just kidding.

But seriously, I really think it’ll help me in finding that thing I’ve lost and to want to start creating stories again. 

Because after all, “Everyone has their own story to tell”... Now I don’t know who made that quote. Well...

That’s all...for now.