December post

Long time, no post...

A lot of stuff have happened in my life this year. It's really been an awesome year so far. God has been so faithful. The highlight of the year for me was graduating from Pharmacy school and then starting Internship in January. A journey that seemed like it'd never end, when I started is ending this month. I've grown in all spheres and I've been happy most of the year. Though there were tears and sad moments, I came out strong. That's just life.

Source

I was given the liebster award again by Relentless and Uche. And imagine I'm just finally answering their questions. I won't be following the rules, sorry. A lot of people have been given the award already, myself inclusive. I just decided to 'come back' and answer my questions since I sorta promised to.

First, let me say, thanks Relentless and Uche for nominating me for the award.

So on to Relentless' questions and my answers;

1. Why did you start blogging?

I started blogging during a period when I started taking my writing seriously and I wanted to have a platform on which I could get stuff written, get them stored (possibly for life), without worrying about my laptop crashing and my writing getting lost. I also wanted to see what it'd be like to get feedback from people on things I wrote.

2. If you could be any fruit or vegetable, what would you be?

Errm..

3. Would you ever consider becoming a vegetarian/vegan?

No, I won't

4. What was/is your favourite subject at school?

In secondary school, Biology. In Uni, Clinical Pharmacy.

5. Are you scared of the dark?

No. Infact, I love the dark. No questions..*grin*

6. If you could eat only one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Fries and turkey. I know you asked 'one thing', but the turkey just has to come with the fries..:D

7. Favourite movie of all time?

Got so many. But would say, The Sound of Music.

8. If you could change your name to anything, what would your new name be?

Thinking........ still trying to figure out what would even make me want to change my name.

9. Are you much of an adventurer? I'm talking bungee jumping, mountain climbing and all that jazz.

No. I don't mind looking into mountain climbing though.

10. What's the greatest thing about being your nationality?

The fact that Nigerians are one of the most resilient, hard-working and ambitious people you can ever meet. In the face of all the trials and everything going on, people still remain hopeful and keep keeping on.

11. What do you do to keep fit?

Eat healthy, walk a lot, and drink enough water daily (but not with the conscious intent of keeping fit).

Uche's questions and my answers;

1. What is your idea of fun?

Being all alone at home, with food on one hand and a drink on the other hand, while watching a really good movie, reading a novel, or writing. Call me a weirdo..lol.. I'm a serious homebody. Just learning how to start having what people call 'fun' sha..lol

2. How do you think the world will end (if you do believe it will)?

I believe it will end someday, but I haven't really sat down to think it through or grasp what it means.. I dunno.

3. What did you think of the last book you read?

The last book I finished reading (I read so many books at the same time) was 'The Spider King's Daughter' by Chibundu Onuzo. When I first started reading the book I was a bit unsure about it. The characters, and the kinda watery pidgin English. But as the story climaxed I began to enjoy it thoroughly and loved the author's brilliant take on the relationship between a person high up in the society and someone who's been almost there and is now at the lower rung of the society. I like the fact that it didn't end in a too happy ending. Reflects reality. One won't expect the hawker's family to be dramatically transformed typical Nollywood style, or that Abike would suddenly become kind-hearted and refuse to continue from where her father stopped. A good book highlighting the inadequacies of the justice system in Nigeria and giving more meaning to the saying.. "The rich get richer and the poor get poorer"..

4. Who was/is your latest crush?

Chris Hemsworth of 'Thor' fame. :)

5. Are you a morning lark or night owl?

Can I be in-between..lol. I would say I shift more towards night owl.

6. Mention two personality or character flaws that you are okay with/can tolerate.

A forgetful nature and mild aggressiveness

7. What was the last gift you gave to someone? (Please do not say your heart)

 Chocolate

8. If you could take a picture of yourself as you are right this moment and send it to the person whose opinion matters the most to you in the whole wide world (and I mean a human person, not God), would you do it?

Yes, I would.

9. What would you do with your life if money suddenly became of no consequence?

I'll still carry out my work, which I'm quite passionate about and which is about improving other people's quality of life. I'll study any subject that interests me and read a lot. And I'll definitely spend much more time writing and recording my life's experiences.

10. What is the strongest temptation you have ever faced?

The urge to 'steal' my physics project (which I was quite emotionally invested in) back from my teacher's office in secondary school....lol. Actually not funny..*straight face*

11. Do you think it is possible for a human to love unconditionally?

Yes, it is possible.. you just never know.

Source

That's it..

On a random note; recently I've been coming across this quote as some people's personal message (pm) on BBM;

"If you wanna change the world, do it while single. 'Cause after marriage you can't even change a TV channel without some explanation."

I don't have anything against the people that had it as their pm, but errm...I'm confused. Since when did being married mean putting a stop to your dreams and aspirations and why should we sell the notion to ourselves that marriage is a prison of some sort, where dreams are dampened. And for some reason I just can't help but think the quote is directed at womenfolk. Please, I can't be party to such flawed thinking.

Enough said.

I hope you guys had an awesome weekend. I wish you all the very best in the coming week and as the year ends may it end on a beautiful note for all of us... :)

See ya next time..

Love, ay. 

Happily (N)ever After-The HIV Question

I love watching romance movies. Boy woos girl, she forms for him small, they fall in love, guy proposes and they get married and of course live happily ever after. I love romance stories sometimes I just want to cry ( I actually do most times). The movie industry has sold us the story of romance so well; every little girl’s fantasy is to find that one special guy that will sweep her off her feet. Fine, I mean I love love and I do believe in happily ever after stories, but what these movies don’t tell you is what happens before and after the marriage (or what should happen). Do they really live happily ever after? These movies don’t really address issues like genotype issues or maybe the contracting of STDs and HIV unless the movie is directly dedicated to bringing to light those issues. I remember watching this Tyler Perry movie (Tyler Perry is awesome by the way. I love his work), and so the guy in the movie reconnects with his old friend, this girl that is a prostitute.  He discovers his feelings for her, is there for her at a crucial stage in her life and ensures she stays off the streets. He even leaves his girlfriend after finding out what an obnoxious bitch she is, for this his old friend turned prostitute turned good girl (later on in the movie). Now the movie doesn't tell us if they get married or not, but obviously it ends well and they’re happy and we can tell they’ll probably get married (there's this other movie with a similar story, and the guy and lady actually got married at the end). I just kept wondering after watching. I mean what if this lady has a major STD or worse HIV. They didn't even check all those things before running around happily. Or what if they even have incompatible genotypes? Will their story really end so well?  She became clean, learnt about God, but fine she needs to be checked before you take her home.

I've been pondering over all these issues lately after spending some time working in a HIV clinic. In case you didn't know and you are still living in oblivion, well I'm telling you now, HIV IS REAL. Working in that clinic was a teeny weensy bit depressing but seeing the positive energy (no pun intended) some of these infected people exuded just made me happy on some days and I found myself laughing with some of them. I mean if they are happy, I should be happy too.

The large number of patients we dispensed drugs to everyday just made it more blaring to me that people, and so many at that, are living with this virus. Some just found out when they got pregnant. Some found out after marriage...etc.

I did a post once on 'The genotype question' and about how people don’t ask that question when dating and only later on face the consequences. That post earned my blog a lot of views and is still a major search term that directs people to my blog and for me it points to the fact that this is an issue that really bothers people and is just the reality of what we face. You need to read that post and some of the comments on it to see what people are going through. It can be quite depressing. I know what it is like to have to break up with the love of your life because of genotype incompatibility. The same way I wrote that post to spread the word about genotype checking is the same way I'm writing this post to spread the word that HIV is real and the HIV status question has to be asked before delving into any major relationship, even though it seems like a really hard one. 

Now I'm not saying stigmatise HIV positive people, I'm just saying ask the question when it’s important to (don’t go around thinking everyone has the virus), because millions of people are living with the virus. "According to estimates by WHO and UNAIDS, 34 million people were living with HIV at the end of 2011. That same year, some 2.5 million people became newly infected, and 1.7 million died of AIDS-related causes, including 230 000 children. More than two-thirds of new HIV infections are in sub-Saharan Africa." (link). Just working in that clinic made it so evident, what with the number of patients attended to daily and in just that clinic alone, which is one of many centres nationwide.

HIV no dey show for face. You need to see most of the patients I attended to looking all chic and fab, you’d never tell. And some are so happy it’s hard not to tap into that joy. Though sometimes I try to imagine how it must have been for them when they first discovered they had the virus.

The HIV virus in itself doesn't kill. It’s the result of the broken down immune system (which is like an army of soldiers that helps to fight off infections in the body) and susceptibility to various infections/diseases that leads to AIDS and to death.  HIV positive people can lead very good quality lives when they are consistent with their medications (which help to slow down the multiplication of the virus and hence build immunity) and pay really good attention to their health. They are just like every normal person.

We shouldn't stigmatize them. I know it’s easy to, for most people, especially when almost every HIV positive person is judged as having contracted it by sexual intercourse. When you hear of cases of people that contracted the virus through blood transfusion and needle prick injuries then maybe you’d just have a re-think and start looking at them through different eyes.  With that too, we should also protect ourselves from getting the virus. HIV is not transmitted by breathing the same air as HIV positive people. It is not transmitted by shaking hands, hugging, sharing pens, sharing utensils and sharing clothes.

Avoid sharing sharp objects such as needles, razor blades, and ensure that if you are getting injected in a hospital for whatever reason, the person injecting you is using fresh equipment, specifically for you. For guys take your own clipper to the barbing salon. Ladies use your own needles for the fixing of your weaves and if possible buy new needles very often. Nowadays hospitals are more careful about blood being donated and transfused to patients. Blood donated is usually properly screened.

And finally, I'm an advocate for no sex before marriage; as a Christian first and as a health professional. That’s what I think is ideal. But when we look at it we really don’t live in an ideal world.  I remember my post on whether birth control promotes promiscuity or not (not really related but you can check it out). Nothing is ever perfect and the reality is teenagers are having sex, guys and girls have multiple sexual partners, men are sleeping with men, and women are sleeping with women (it’s all very scary to think of, but it's reality). So I won’t just sit down and pretend I don’t know what is going on and start judging people. So with that I’d say if you must have sex please use protection. I can’t emphasize that well enough. And please get tested. Ask your partner for their HIV status and if they say they are ‘clean’, please just for clarity sake and to prevent wahala, don’t believe them (seriously) and carry them to the nearest laboratory and you guys get tested together and see the result with your koro koro eye..

HIV is real and e no dey show for face..

God help us.

Love, ay.

Never say never..

Is it true that as we grow older we get wiser?

This year 2013 has been an awesome year so far. I've laughed, I've cried, but basically I've learned a lot and made greater sense of some things.

I want to share some of what I've learned/made greater sense of with you;

1. Love God above all things, even when it doesn't make sense.

2. Strive to do the right thing at all times, even when it's unpopular.

3. Nobody is perfect or should be described as 'perfect'. We all make mistakes and are just imperfect beings.

4. The more you work hard at something, the better you get at it.

5. Every challenge is a stepping stone and a path to growth.

6. An eye for an eye will really make the world go blind. 'You do me, I do you', that's not how life works.

7. Money doesn't define happiness, doesn't define success or make anyone anyone better than the next person.

8. Keeping your eyes on the prize makes it easier to run the race.

9. It's a small world. You don't know where you'll meet me, I don't know where I'll meet you. Let's be nice to each other.

10. Being happy is not a given, it's a choice you have to make for yourself.

11. Never say never, no matter what.

12. Your 'enemy' today just might be your closest acquaintance tomorrow.

13. Be happy on your birthday. God has brought you to the beginning of another year in your life. Be thankful, laugh and take lots of pictures.

14. You can choose to cry all you want, but one day you might look back and wonder why you cried so much.

15. Fall in love once, fall in love twice and fall in love even a third time. Don't ever give up on love.



*update:
And lastly, don't forget, your health is much more important than anything. Take good care of yourself, eat right, be active and go for regular medical check-ups. 'It' could happen to you too.

:)


Ay.

Some women that inspire!

There are a lot of people I have drawn inspiration from over time, but I have three outstanding women I consider a good source of inspiration...



Bukky George. CEO Healthplus pharmacy

I can't really remember the first time I came across the name, Bukky George, but I know it was sometime during Pharmacy school and it was also during that time I became a great fan of HealthPlus Pharmacy. 

Bukky George is a woman with great passion for what she does. She set up HeathPlus pharmacy very early on in her career and has with hard work, persistence, a great drive for success and the grace of God seen it through to becoming the success it is. HealthPlus Pharmacy has a great number of outlets around the country and is undoubtedly "one of Nigeria's most successful retail chain pharmacies." 

Bukky George could as well be described as one of the pioneers of the changing face of pharmacy in Nigeria.

She's a real hard worker, an avid reader and a great mentor for those coming behind her. She enjoys speaking at conferences, seminars and basically imparting her knowledge.

Chimamanda Ngozi adichie. Award winning writer.

I think by now it's no news that I'm the number one fan of Chimamanda... lol.

I first saw Chimamanda/heard about her on Funmi Iyanda's show 'New Dawn', sometime in the early 2000s. I really don't know what drew me to her and her work by just listening to her discuss with Funmi about her first book, Purple Hibiscus. But I just remember telling my dad, "I have to get that book". I was in JSS3 and at a point in my life when I was wondering if this 'writing thing even makes sense' and here was someone, a Nigerian like me, talking about how she had just written a book and she had actually published it. My dad did get me that my first copy of Purple Hibiscus not too long after that and I was enthralled from the beginning to the end and made the decision to start taking writing seriously. I wrote so many good and not so good pieces after that. But at least I wrote more.

What I like about Chimamanda's story is how she followed her passion and decided it was writing she wanted to do. Leaving Medicine and Pharmacy behind at University of Nigeria, Nsukka she followed her passion and has become such a great success. I like the amount of research that goes into her writing, which is so evident and the way she goes on with her work with a very positive outlook and a 'no, I can't be drawn back' attitude. She is a prominent figure in the growth of contemporary Nigerian literature. She was the first encounter I had before reading other amazing contemporary Nigerian authors after her.

She is definitely a great inspiration.



Mosunmola Abudu. Talk show host, TV Producer and entrepreneur 

Mo, as she's popularly known, first made her appearance on out TV screens with her amazing show, Moments with Mo on which she addressed various topics and interviewed a great number of people, including Hilary Clinton and Ngozi-Okonjo Iweala.

Moments with Mo is a purpose-built vehicle designed to enable Africans and the rest of the world to come to an appreciation of our very rich and diverse culture and our achievements, as well as to know and understand us as a people. 

Over the years, Mo has realized that the ultimate task facing us as a continent is to build and promote world class personas and brands, as well as to “showcase” the achievements of Africans within a global setting and economy. Our challenge is to credibly debunk the tendency of the western media to constantly and relentlessly portray us as the Dark Continent that can only be defined by what can be aptly described as the“6 D’s”: Disease, Despair, Destruction, Disaster, Destitution and Deceit.

info from the site

She went on to produce other great shows such as 'The Debaters' and 'Naija Diamonds'

Then this year Mo wowed us and moved on the greater things by setting up her own Television Station, EbonyLife TV on DSTV Channel 165 which is targeted at the youth especially. The station is a month old now.

Forbes has named Mo the First woman in Africa to launch a Pan-African TV channel.

We'll just stay watching for what next Mo will do.

And like she likes to say, "If you can think it, you can do it"


:D

Observing

The bus is practically empty. I'd rather sit in place and wait till it's full. I really don't want to go on and experience a continuous tussle for public transport. The rain has just subsided. I'm sitting next to man on the third row. He looks to be in his late thirties. He looks at me through the corner of his eyes at intervals. Another man is sitting right in front of us. He looks Hausa. His head looks recently shaven and his beard too. There are three tribal marks at a corner of his eyes from where I can see. The lady in the passenger's seat in front keeps shifting in her seat to show her impatience. A lady in a pair of tight, low-waist red trousers has just entered the bus. She's about to clean the seat in the first row, when the Hausa man sitting just behind her, mumbles something to her. I imagine he has told her the seat is taken, but really I don't think he said anything audible. The lady's trousers are drawn so low and tightly so, that the top of her buttocks is showing. The whole scenario is clear to me. The lady frowns and moves further back, to the last row. I can't blame the man. Even me I'd feel uncomfortable with such a free display right in front of me. Apparently the lady is oblivious to this. I feel like telling her to draw up her trousers, but I don't for the unpleasant, unfriendly contortion of her face.

More people are entering now. It seems we would be able to leave early enough for me to get home. A short, light skinned man is standing by the entrance of the bus now, a bag strapped across his front. He has plenty goods for sale. Oh my. The pack of mint lozenges that cures any form of sore throat, for just N50; worm expeller that tastes like vitamin C; 'Sharp Sharp' insecticide that kills all insects especially mosquitoes, "you won't hear the sound of common mosquito"; and rat killer that gets rid of all rats completely, "if it doesn't kill rat, e mean say rat no dey that house."

The man beside me wants to buy the lozenges. He tells me to pass N50 to the vendor in exchange for the lozenges, because he doesn't want a certain person sitting outside the bus to know he's buying the lozenges. Weirdness. I wonder how any of that concerns me. I don't accept the money but instead gesture to the vendor to pass a pack of the lozenges.

It's quiet now, relatively. The vendor has moved to another vehicle. 4 more passengers to go.The bus smells a bit funky to me. It seems like one or more of the people that have entered recently have been chewing on kolanut and something else, because this smell reminds me a little of grandma's house. She likes to chew kolanut, that most times her home, her clothes and all smell of it. I don't quite fancy its smell. However what I'm smelling now is a worse stench.

Finally the bus is full and that's when the conductor, or should I say money collector (since, later on he doesn't go on the trip with us) decides to start collecting the transport fare, seat by seat. The man beside me claims to be 'staff' and doesn't pay his transport fare. A certain dark man outside the bus, clad in a long, white Jalamia and that looks like he works in the bus garage, gestures to the driver and in this way corroborates the man's claim. I now understand why before the man was buying the lozenges secretly. I'm trying to make sense of it actually.

The bus is about to move. I still have change to collect and so do three others. 

The conductor has given only me my change now while the others are screaming out how much they are being owed as the bus wheels out of the garage.

I'm sitting here pleased that I have collected my change. Thank God I don't have to wrangle with the driver on the way. 

I'm starting to feel sleepy and decide to sleep anyways.I still have quite a long distance ahead and I'm stopping at the last bus stop.

'Their' fault not mine.....

Source

It's very easy as humans to make a habit of always blaming others for things that happen to us or around us.

"Nothing works in this country. It' the fault of our corrupt leaders...."

"Work is really stressful. My boss hates me and hands out all the work to me...."

"These people are so incompetent. They are the ones drawing us back...."

I've been pondering lately and I observe that most times the things we tend to blame others for, we are guilty of as well. And sometimes what we complain of might just be part of our imagination. It's really a pain to sit down around someone that keeps whining and going on and on about how the world is against them and everyone else is at fault for something. These kind of people have refused make a decision to be responsible for the choices they make and how they are affected by these choices, I think.

And really no one is perfect. It's easy to blame everyone for something and not recognise you are doing the same thing. A lot of people complain about their boss being incompetent, 'wicked', and blame them for certain other things, even me. But if we sit down and analyze things we would realise that if placed in the same position, same situation most people will do worse and be even more horrible bosses.

A lot of people complain about corruption and how nothing works In this country. But when placed in charge of even the smallest tasks at work or placed in a certain position people act out exactly what they are complaining of and they make it look like it's no big deal, "afterall it's just a small thing". And so it remains a vicious circle. Corrupt employees/corrupt citizens one day become corrupt leaders. 

If something is not working right, instead of complaining and pointing fingers, quit whining, get busy and be part of a positive change. And don't say you won't carry out your own work because others aren't carrying out theirs, because that's exactly where the problem is. Do your own part, carry out your duties dilligently and try to see the good in other people first. We are all human anyways.

*** Post inspired by happenings at work.

Words on paper.....attempt at poetry

Is it pain? I Know that feeling all too well.
Is it sadness? It flows through my veins.
The many tears shed? I've shed a billion.

Life sucks, sometimes.

The choices I make , I'm responsible for them.
The hurt I feel, my choice .
I can choose to feel hurt or not by whatever fate deals me.

It's my happiness that matters most.

It seems no one cares;
No ping, no call, no text message.
Not even a hug smiley.

Happiness is a choice. Life is short.

Taking each day as it comes and revelling in the pleasantness of the little things.
Things that most people pay no attention to.
Things that hold much more value than it seems they do.