Monday, 1 April 2013

I guess I'm back

Growing up is hard to do.

That's what I tell myself every time.

I'm sitting here, holding this wheel and all I can hear in my head is your voice telling me I can't do it.

I realize, I really can't do it and I freeze for a second and then scream, 'I cant do it' and then the tears start pouring.

Your voice doesn't really encourage me.

I want to curl up and just continue crying, just disappear, stay hidden from everyone else in this world.

I don't want to grow up.

Growing up is hard to do.

And then I hear another voice.  I stop crying for a moment.

You're telling me it's me, only me that can help myself,

This world is hard as it is.

I just wish everything would fall in place.

I want to cry, I want to.

I think I've started to cry already.

Oh no, I hear your voice again.

"Grow up", you say.

"Don't let it all get to you. You can be what you want to be."

"Only you can help yourself. You just have to be strong."

"Grow up my dear, grow up."

All of a sudden I find strength. or do I?

I really do want to grow up. I want to be a strong woman.

I can still see you smiling at me in the distance and urging me on.

And I find that's all I need to carry me on..

Ay...    5:17pm


Okay, so I wrote this random note in just a few minutes, during one of my 'black moods' today. Guess that's what I needed to help me make a comeback to my precious blog. I have no excuses for why I have been away for so long. Just haven't found out how to balance my time effectively, just when I thought I knew how to.

It's been monthsss since I wrote anything or read anything.. sigh.. Anyways what do you guys think of my write up above. Dunno if it to call it a poem. I don't like poems, funny enough.

I hope to be more consistent with blogging and everything else. So help me God.

Thanks y'all for stopping by!



  1. HAPPY EASTER.... GROWING up is hard but o well. Thank God we are alive. x

    1. Yes, thank God. He'll see us through it all

  2. Growing up is so hard...welcome back.

  3. Welcome back, Ay. Seriously, we all go through that. I am battling with managing my time effectively too, And really, I want to be as flexible as possible. The last time I overstretched myself, I made a personal timetable. But really, that's just too rigid for me. We will all keep working towards it. Welcome back. And the welcome back piece is good too.

    1. Thanks Joseph..
      Yeah, personal timetables can be rigid. We just have to be prepared to face whatever may come and be strong.

      Thanks for stopping by... I tagged you in the liebster award since ehn. You better get around to answering my questions

  4. You are the only person who can make things happen for you. nice write up. sounds like a poem to me. lol. Best wishes!

    1. Yeah, feels like a poem. Oh well...

      Thanks Priscy..:D

  5. lol at least you are better than I am when it comes to blogging, I really need to work on my consistency smh. But I tagged you in the Liebster blog award. I know you have already done it so you prolly dont have to do it again but hey! you can if you want to! lol have a great evening girl! :)

    1. Oh thanks Mayowa! Will visit your blog and get around to doing it soon.

      Thanks dear.


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