I guess I'm back

Growing up is hard to do.


That's what I tell myself every time.

I'm sitting here, holding this wheel and all I can hear in my head is your voice telling me I can't do it.

I realize, I really can't do it and I freeze for a second and then scream, 'I cant do it' and then the tears start pouring.

Your voice doesn't really encourage me.

I want to curl up and just continue crying, just disappear, stay hidden from everyone else in this world.

I don't want to grow up.


Growing up is hard to do.


And then I hear another voice.  I stop crying for a moment.

You're telling me it's me, only me that can help myself,

This world is hard as it is.

I just wish everything would fall in place.

I want to cry, I want to.

I think I've started to cry already.


Oh no, I hear your voice again.

"Grow up", you say.

"Don't let it all get to you. You can be what you want to be."

"Only you can help yourself. You just have to be strong."

"Grow up my dear, grow up."



All of a sudden I find strength. or do I?

I really do want to grow up. I want to be a strong woman.

I can still see you smiling at me in the distance and urging me on.

And I find that's all I need to carry me on..




Ay...    5:17pm

***************************

Okay, so I wrote this random note in just a few minutes, during one of my 'black moods' today. Guess that's what I needed to help me make a comeback to my precious blog. I have no excuses for why I have been away for so long. Just haven't found out how to balance my time effectively, just when I thought I knew how to.

It's been monthsss since I wrote anything or read anything.. sigh.. Anyways what do you guys think of my write up above. Dunno if it to call it a poem. I don't like poems, funny enough.

I hope to be more consistent with blogging and everything else. So help me God.

Thanks y'all for stopping by!

Ciao!